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Rick's deep twizted mind

1/2/07 09:52 pm - Fuck Me

Well. All I have back home is family, and a couple of friends, (ie, john, mark, megan). I'm done with destroying shit.

12/4/06 05:57 pm - welp, im back...

With that infernal program, Websense, being run from the Pentagon, I can't access MySpace from work anymore, and I spent all my money this weekend on alcohol and a new phone, so I have no money to go into town and get an account setup at the I-Cafe. >..> For my niece: I quit drinking (official at about 3pm this afternoon) - going into ASAP (our substance abuse program) coming in the following week, and it looks as if I will be in this program for about 3 months (hopefully extending my stay here on post (that's all I care about... don't want to go to a place where I don't know my job)). The only thing I don't like about going "somewhat voluntarily" is that it'd be less time seeing Alison, Jeff, Toby, Becka, Dave... the last 2 - I can still chill at their place and I know Dave has no problem in helping me stay away from the vile creation called Alcohol...

rick

7/18/06 11:04 am - hrmmm...

made a big booboo... not at work, but for home. ... mebbe I should jsut listen to jeff now. yeah.

7/18/06 10:55 am - stoked

I was told last night (a few hours after sending them off) that one of my fave bands to listen to at the pub WILL play half the stuff I finally got off my ass to send them.

other shti - last night was well, kinda stupid... this project I've been workin on, well kinda backfired. Another source kinda made it self-implode, and I jacked up something else (to talk about it, I will need another site as this is WAY TOO public here, and everyone who reads this knows who I am --- kinda... 90% of me still hasn't come out... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

7/18/06 10:46 am - thinking about stuff again... doubting christianity? no, just thoughts

-- Not concluded, because well, it'll end up turning into a HUGE email to my pastor.

I was discussing this point with a Sgt of mine and we were talkin about the Navajo and such. I know (from what I learned in Navajo) that they are originally Athabascan (as far as history, vocal, written) will tell us. That's Russia, Alaska area (the ice bridge). In their "bible" - the mythological books, Book 1 (Tieholtsodi - Red Water monster) it discusses that there was a great flood. Now, based on the known history of Navajo, the furthest back they go is Russia (Siberia). This is the point that gets me - I know of the "theories" :: 1. Worldwide Flood
2. Flood based only in Tigris/Euphrates Region (Mt Sinai landing)
3. Early Global warming (melting ice causing ocean to raise)

1. This would have killed everyone, leaving Noah and his family as our ancestors (every other race on the planet) --- kinda also brings up the Tower of Babel thing too, but I'll ask about that later
2. This would have killed everyone in just that region. - Kinda makes sense with the earliest recorded/oral history of many cultures
3. This would have killed off everyone in coastal regions and worried several more in regions that view these areas.

5/4/06 10:06 am - NUKE THE SHIT OUT OF IRAQ, DAMMIT!

I had the strangest dream (+ I figured out why the hell I wake up sweating like crazy in the middle of the night) between 8 and 830 this morning. I was a cowboy in an environment that looked like somewhere in colorado, but closely resembled Iraq -- Sand EVERYFUCKINGWHERE. It seemed that I had been suspected of wrangling cattle from this dude's ranch and was called something to the effect of "a cur of a coyote". I was then reduced to running the hell out of there and had to carry a huge wooden sign that said "looking for honest work", that I had to drag around as it was too heavy and hard to carry in the wind that ran the place and made it impossible to hide away from this guy. After walking a bit, I hit a sandstorm much like that shitty one I went through when I was in hell, and had to stop for a place to rest. There was a burm that only went barely high enough to hide me as my cowboy hat still showed above the burm when I sat down. I was in this fortified area and saw 3 iraqi-type motorhomes parked there and a few 'known' cattle wrestlers gathered around a fire. after trying to catch some shuteye, I pulled my hat over my face to block out the sun and sand. once i did that, my dream took a 3rd person stance overlooking me and the guy I had been running from looking down on me commenting on the sign and giving a wolfish grin (like soemthing you'd see in 'nightmare before christmas'). That was when I woke up, bed soaked in sweat (yeah i even bent down to sniff, but no sign of piss smell). Getting back to me figuring out why I sweat myself awake --- dreams of that fucking hell called iraq.

5/1/06 10:04 am - well, I said it would never show up, but.... time for people to see

http://xxx_xxx.livejournal.com - my 3v1l site. only 2 comments so far, no links yet, but I think I'll just ignore the bloody thing for a little bit.

the name is in the xxx's somewhere... c'mon, you think I'd actually give in that easy? - yes, it was up for one day, but the world ain't ready yet.

4/30/06 03:43 pm - A new evolutionary step has been made...

I now have the power to delete shit that's in my brain. It took 2 weeks to realize this, and all it is is reverse psychology for the brain. So, in order to make this work, I will need to delete the GKs first, then possibly other things from this site.


HooRay!!


Edit: Everything involving those I want to delete are gone.

4/28/06 10:05 pm - I kinda wish other people, mainly those who are the cause of my stress, read the shit i write

title pretty much says it. I've got these murderous headaches. I remember HS/Marine Boot Camp, when I got pissed the hell off, I cried. Now all I get is headaches (wondering if it's cuz I haven't been truly this angry in about 3 years). The situation and the crap thats goin on now makes me want to cry, except I haven't had the ability to cry (I can feel the same, but no tears) for a few years now.

Read some interesting posts regarding "Anger Headaches" and some of them point to depression... well, I do know that I have been feeling *about myself* like shit for years now, since Middle School... maybe that's where my hatred for everyone and the desire to kill almost anyone who crosses me wrong comes from... I don't know

4/27/06 01:30 pm - Mathematical/Biblical Proof that Women are INDEED 3vil.

Got this from OpenMike ~ also fairly well known...

For men, keeping a women is the product of time & money:

women = time * money

As the old cliché states, "Time is money."

time = money

Therefore:

women = money * money

Or:

women = money2

The Bible states, "Money is the root of all evil."

evil = money

Therefore:

women = (evil)2

And one must conclude:

women = evil

Just kidding ladies. You know I love you all ;-)

4/26/06 02:32 pm - arg...NOOOO!!!

So... I've noticed a strange occurence in one of my favorite webcomics *MissMab* and i just realized or cant say just because it's been a little off lately but the guys in the comic are fuckin gay... at least the mouse... maybe Abel... wtf...

4/26/06 01:13 pm - Funny site

Found an interesting site because I didn't fully comprehend what the hell an "Emo Kid" is/was... so I googled it and found this site: http://www.missouri.edu/~kahvc7/emojournal/intro.html

quote from the page... oddly sound similar to me... except from the abstaining from part:

The general emo-person is aged 14-22, but of course there are exceptions. He is more often male than female, and has little-to-no significant other. If they do have a significant other, he/she usually lives hours away, hardly ever in the same state or even country. He/She is either Christian or has no religion, and often subscribes to being "Straight Edge" (SxE), showing that she/he can abstain from drugs, booze, and sex but still be a badass punk by listening to certain music. The emo-kid often listens to Linkin Park but will deny it. He/She usually has more online friends than real-life friends, because people in rl (real life) can't understand him/her.

4/26/06 11:56 am - well, we all know how LJ hates HTML... hopefully this works... if so, I can fix my old shit

THE ULTIMATE BEST SURVEY ~~QUICK CLICK!! NOW!!--! 200 questions!
The Questions Everyone and Their Mom Asks!!
Name?:rick
Age?:26
What's Up?:yo
Do you drive?:yea
Do you have your License or just a Learners Permit?:license
Whens your Birthday?:4.17.80
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:dunno
For how long?:few months
Is it a serious Realationship?:no
Did you just say yes because he or she is going to read this?:no
Common be honest!
What Grade are you in?:no
What School do you go to?:no
What was your SAT score?:no
Is there anything Abnornal about your body you'd like to share?:lazy eye
do you have a digital camera?:
An Ipod?:yea
Anything else anyone who doesn't have one would be jealous of?:
Your Best Friend
What's their name?:dustin
What color is their hair?:brown
Their eyes?:brown
Their walls in their bedroom?:
Their Birthday?:june something
did you remember it every year?:no
Do you even no it?:no
If not, Are you ashamed?:no
Well you should be!:no
Eating food and such!!
how do you eat an oreo?:cream first
How do you eat a reese's?:outside edge, peel chocolate off, pb last
Do you use a spoon when you eat spaghetti?:no
Do you ever drink soda from a can?:yes
Do you put ice and soda in a cup?:yes
If you have soda in A glass of ice do you need to use a straw?:no
If so, Why?:no
Do you like orange's?:yes
what's your favorite meal?:lasagna or footlong melt from subway
whats your favorite drink?:jd
Sports!
Do you play any?:no
whats you favorite football tem?:cowboys
Baseball team?:rangers
Favorite sport?:rockclimbing
don't you hate thoes jersy/sock tans you get?:uh...
School!
Whats your favorite part about it?:anonymity
Favorite teacher?:lyons
Favorite Subject?:science
Funniest school moment?:uh
Favorite TV show about school?:doug
Have you taken Drivers Ed in school?:no
Any embarrassing story's from that?:no
Are You maega popular?:no
Do your teachers and Peers Adore You?:no
Aren't substitue teachers the best?:uh..
Have you ever had a sub that taught you more than your teacher has?:uh...
do you take the bus?:no
Are you a walker?:yes
Are you cool and drive to school?:uh..
or does your Mom/ or older sib drive you?:uh..
Do you think school is dumb?:yes
Whats your GPA?:it was 2.9 when i graduated
Are You planning to go to college?:yes
Where to?:dunno
What extracurricular programs/ clubs organizations are you involved in!:no
Are you in band?:no
Chorus?:no
Orchestra?:no
whats your favorite elective calss?:drafting
Are you a class officer?:no
Family?
Is it big or small?:medium
how many sibs?:2
Any older?:1
Do they beat you up and pick on you?:yup
Any younger?:1
Do you beat them up and pick on them?:yup
Parents? Are they cool?:sure
Can you tolerate your mother?:yep
Father?:heh...heh...hahahhaa
Which one do you feel could care less about your life?:
More about you!
Republican/Democrat?:republican
Liberal/conservative?:no
Pro abortion?/ Pro choice? / Anti Abortion?:anti
What about Bush?:cool, but he's not on track
Where does your family originate from?:germany/italy
Do you listen to talk radio?:yup
Are you a computer nerd?:yup
How many computers do you havein your house?:3
Phones?:1
TV's?:1
STD's:0
Do you have a cell?:yeah
whats kinda journal do you have?:LJ/blogspot
Type something interesting?:lots
HOW DO YOU TYPE?
Do you type with two fingers?:nein
The way your supposed to like taught in school?:uh, sure
slow or fast?:medium
For Southerners--
Do you have southern pride?:hells yeah
Do you eat oranges off the trees?:yup, got sick once though
Do you like country music?:hells yeah
Do you go muddin'?:yup
What state are you from?:az
Are you a yankee who moved to the south?:nope
The Rebel flag?:Wave it PROUD!!
For Northern folks!
Were you born up there?:buh
Do you like the snow?:SNOW!!!! YEEHAW
What state are you from?:az
What city are you closest too?:uh... LV?
Do you like country music?:yup
Are you proud to be a yankee?:uh...
Are you a Snow bird?(you go south in the winter):fuck that shit
Would you rather be in the south!?!:uh..
Favorite!
Animal?:panther
Person?:... right now... uh... my readers will know
Chore?:hahaha
Color:black
Website?:thewebcomiclist.com/latest
Paper?:cardboard?
tree?:douglas fir
place?:germany
Cereal?:dont eat cereal
Store?:saturn
This or that
Beach or Ski resort?:ski resort
Snowboard or Ski or snow blade?:snowboard
Surf or skimboard?:surf
Wind surf or kite surf>:wind
Parasail or Skydive?:parasail
Bungee jumping or rock climbing?:rock climbing
Fear Factor or Real World?:fear factor
American Idol or Who wants to be a millionaire?:american idol
Singing or danceing?:singin
Musicals or Plays?:plays
Michael or Jacob?:uh...
Avenue Q or Wicked?:wicked
New York Or Florida?:florida
Boy meets world or saved by the bell?:saved by the bell.... ALWAYS
Step by Step or Full house?:full house
Are You?
Gay?:no
Bi?:no
Straight?:yup
Tired?:yup
ready to end this dumb survey?:not really, more please
In a hurry?:nope
Talking to someone online?:not right now
who?:shut up, will you?!
bored?:yes, that's why I'm doing this, right?
smelly:yup (woke up late, no time for shower ... smell like smoke and liquor)
in need of a shower:hells yeah
A virgin?:nope
Music And all that
Favorite band?:him
Favorite singer?:ville valo
Favorite genre?:viking metal
what would you call Simple Plans Genre?:who the hell is that?
Do you like Emo music?:yup
Do you even know what that is?:yup
Do you like Rap?:yup
Do you like a variety type of music ?:yup
what are you listening to right now?:metallica
Do you have:uh.. what? i write shit
Anything else obscurley funny like Barney?:kill the wabbit
do you like disney songs?:some
What about that Raven Symone?:who the hell is that?
Random
Do you like the show cribs?:it's aight
How 'bout Viva LA BAm?:FUCK YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What about that Don Vito!?!:He's good to go.. hell, he needs more revenge than just throwin bams hmmwv off that quarry ledge
Uh.... Don't Feed Phil?:FEED PHIL... if he wants to be fat, let him... FAT PEOPLE RULE!
Would/have you ever?
Played house:yes
Sent a letter:yes
watch barney with you little sister?:barney should die
talked bad behind someones back?:when drunk, apparently so
Seen Mean Girls?:yup
did you like it?:no
Had sex?:yes
wanted to?:yes
Are you waiting till your married?:uh... not goin there
talked dirty?:yup
given or gotten head:yup
hand job?:yup
slept next to a significant other?:nope
if so to any of the above did you like it?:yup, but i was drunk... so it was like it never happened
Are you male or female in bed!-- for gays!:/eye
done drugs?:if tobacco is considered it, yup
Drank Alcohol?:all the fucking time... im drunk... at fucking work, in the fucking military... i am so screwed.... ROFL
been drunk?:um... im there now
been high?:yeah
did something really bad during the time you were drunk or high?:uh... look at question 4 of this section
do you remember?:no
what was it?:talked shit
OK last questions
did you like this suvey?:yeah... what?! the end??? NO!!!!!!!!!
How many fingers am i holding up?:666
Did it satisfy your boredom?:yes
Are you gonna post it?:yes
Are you in a hurry to go somewhere?:no
ah tell something interesting again:i am a confused little bastard trying to sort everything out of my fucking head and get my life right so i can't fuck up anymore...
Did you guess 5 on the finger question?:no
If so you were right:fuck off... ROFL
good bye
Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d

4/24/06 03:15 pm - Me Myself and whatever.

Have to post a song that's been on my mind ALOT lately... even in my head while listening to other music. tsk tsk



GARTH BROOKS LYRICS

"Burning Bridges"

Yesterday she thanked me
For oilin' that front door
This morning when she wakes
She won't be thankful anymore
She'll never know how much I cared
Just that I couldn't stay
And I'll never know the reason
Why I always run away
Burning bridges one by one
What I'm doin' can't be undone
And I'm always hoping someday
I'm gonna stop this runnin' around
But every time the chance comes up
Another bridge goes down
Last night we talked of old times
Families and home towns
Whe wondered if we'd both agree
On where we'd settle down
And I told her that we'd cross that bridge
Whenever it arrived
Now through the flames I see her
Standin' on the other side
Burning bridges one by one
What I'm doin' can't be undone
And I'm always hoping someday
I'm gonna stop this runnin' around
But every time the chance comes up
Another bridge goes down
Like ashes on the water
I drift away in sorrow
Knowing that the day
My lesson's finally learned
I'll be standing at a river
Staring out across tomorrow
And the bridge I need to get there
Will be a bridge that I have burned
Burning bridges one by one
What I'm doin' can't be undone
And I'm always hoping someday
I'm gonna stop this runnin' around
But every time the chance comes up
Another bridge goes down
Another bridge goes down


[ www.azlyrics.com ]







outttie

4/24/06 11:13 am - frendz

i need new friends...it just occured to me that maybe i just need people who are just as screwed up in the head as i am to be my freinds... the others i have are just retainers that keep me from dropping into pure insanity, theses people are good to go, i'll keep them around but i need more, more insane people around me. i dont know where ill find them because a few of these people are more than likely going ot wish they were dead after my scout buddies and i finish with them this week.



rick out.

4/21/06 10:15 am - Pick Pickler

About American Idol... I told myself last night that if my favorite singer was in the bottom 3, much less voted off, I would never watch the show again. We all know that I would never quit the show, because there'd be another person to like next year. Thank goodness though, the girl I wanted to succeed made it to the top 4 this week.

GO KELLIE GO!!!!!!!!!!

4/13/06 11:08 am - Oh, How Ironic is this?

From Brell Rants:
Posted by Croinc:

Day 1: I fake having an illness to not do shti
Day 1 afternoon: Start having symptoms of fake illness
Day 2: Fake Illness manifests itself into reality
Day 2 evening: Feeling a wee bit better
Day 3 (today): It's BAACK! I'm feeling much worse than I did yesterday.

My Comments:
Favorite quotes for this:

"Don't wish for anything bad, it may come true" and "Don't tempt fate"

4/5/06 02:05 pm - So bloody tired

Well, this week has been murder to my body and mind. Last night I missed the opportunity to hang out with some friends from the pub because I was too lazy and was reading a 70 page document. Maybe tonight, I'll go, but I don't know. Monday we started playing a weird ass game named Donkeyball. I was so sore from it that I didn't want to play with the team today, but I did anyway... for the first half, as I ended up getting a game-ending injury -- fastball to the balls (damn ball had to be travelling at 45+ mph... God it hurt! Right after that happened, 2 more guys got knocked out of the game to the same injury. Time to buy a cup I guess. That was a little more than 2 hrs ago (2 hrs left to chill here and wait for REAL work). Until then, it's alternating between playing D2 on my personal laptop, posting/reading posts on AKO, going to my Guild's forum, reading webcomics, or staring off into space (trying not to get jumpy when someone/something requires my attention). Soreness + tiredness + insomnia + thinking to much + nervousness = a big f***ing wreck. w00! 1 f1|/|4lly 570pp3(| m3 (u551n6 0n 7h15 5173.

3/28/06 10:02 am - new lj - no link yet, maybe sometime in the future

I've created a new lj, for another side of me that I don't trust anyone in my life to see yet, at least not until later (like after I get out of the military, then I'll actually be able to try it). It's going to be for links, news commentary, and games. This side of the spectrum will have a huge edit coming. At least maybe tomorrow (tonight I'm goin out to the point of passing the heck out). All my comics stuff are going to the new site, more links to the 'other' thing as well. Going to be deleting some posts that got an odd 'review' by a few friends as well (well delete is too strong a word, prolly clean em up and edit some things out.

Old site (zzlitherr_lanys): Songs, life, stories, no more bad words (no matter how bad I feel)

New site (????) : News commentary, links (new) (comics), game info, unrated version of my life





Sorry for the disappointment this will bring some of you, but being in my new 'secret society', it's something i need to do until i feel comfortable to talk to others about it.

AND NO, I AM NOT GAY. It's something weirder than that. Not like homosexuality ain't weird enough, but I only know of one person who knows my 'secret' and I will keep it like that until somebody forces it out of her or me.

3/21/06 11:36 am - its all good

:) nuff said, for I am happy again =P
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